What Does “Relationship” Mean To You?
If you are like most people, when you think of the word “relationships,” you probably think of a spouse, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, dating and marriage. Seeing how I have been married more than once (and don’t particularly want to talk about my boyfriends), I would say that area is not exactly my forte.
In other words, not exactly my area of expertise. If you know what I mean. 
For the dating world, I recommend listening to Matthew Hussey. The man is brilliant. He really is. He teaches confidence and caring about yourself first, which I think is awesome.
Not from a selfish standpoint, but as a way of not putting yourself last. Because in these types of relationships, many of us are guilty of doing just that.
And I can promise you (and tell you from experience) that if you are putting yourself last, you will NOT be happy. No matter what you do. You will end up in all kinds of hurtful situations to yourself and others.
Sooner or later, the resentment will build up and it will turn out to be a much more painful breakup than if you had just been honest about your own wants and needs in the very beginning.
So, that is all I am going to say about that particular aspect of relationships. Mostly – listen to Matthew!
(This is known as a referral to someone else with more expertise.)
However, on this site, when we talk about relationships, we are talking about relationships with ALL people. Friends, family, spouses, parents, kids, grandkids, and so on.
We even talk about relationships with people we don’t agree with or don’t like.
Let me ask you a question.
What Do You Think Of When You Hear The Words “Personal Development?”
Think about that for a minute.
When you think of “Personal Development,” you probably think of ways to excel in all areas of your life. And that would be correct.
But on this site, when we talk about personal development, we talk about that and so much more. We talk about personally developing healthy and happy relationships. With everyone.
But especially and most importantly, we talk about personally developing a relationship with God and Jesus (if you, like me, are a Christian.)
Don’t misunderstand me – this is not really a “religious” site. I am not a Bible scholar either. I focus more on psychological coping strategies because that is what I know.
At the same time, I try my very best to integrate what I have learned with biblical principles and to align what I share with them.
And I most definitely have a tremendous amount of love for God and faith in God. And I believe in putting God first.
In my opinion, before doing anything, we should always consult with God (as we understand Him) before doing anything else.
In other words, “Developing A Personal Relationship with GOD.”
THAT, is what this site is all about. FIRST and foremost.
Relationships With Everyone Else
And second, developing healthy and happy relationships with everyone else.
You will hear me talk a lot about children in my courses because I adore them. When I think of children, I think of them as being the most valuable gifts on this earth that we could ever have.
They are absolutely precious to me.
But how we talk to them and relate with them is important from a psychological standpoint. Believe it or not, we are ALL programmed the first few years of our lives.
We have to be. Because it is impossible for a four-year-old to memorize an encyclopedia. I go into great detail about this in my courses.
How we program our children is a great responsibility because it affects them for the rest of their lives.
I think the most important thing we can do for a child is to teach them that they are valuable and worthy of love. That they are loveable. That they deserve love.
Sadly, it is not uncommon for children to be programmed in unhealthy ways. But here’s the thing – we cannot blame the “programmer.” Or the “parent” or “caregiver.”
Do you know why?
Because they were programmed themselves.
You see, my belief is that we are all doing the best we can do, based on our understanding.
And that is exactly what this site is about – to broaden and widen our understanding of these things, so that more people WILL understand.
This site is for people who recognize that we don’t have all the answers. Myself included.
But we are open and willing to learn. I will keep learning. And I will keep sharing what I learn.
So my point here is that relationships with children is a big topic here on this site. I am extremely concerned about my own grandchildren and their entire generation.
And many, many generations to come.
But another thing that harms relationships in general, and the way parents relate to their children, is stress.
You know, I have been working on this site for YEARS. Many, many years. And my signature program here called “Transform Emotions” was created for people who have had REAL problems.
Traumas. Tragedies. Extreme relationship problems. Addictions. Etc.
But I had NO IDEA about the trauma that was to come for this entire country (United States) and entire world. I really didn’t.
And I’m talking about COVID, exposure of corruption, terrorism, extreme division of political ideas. And all of the things that have been dumped on us in the years of 2020 – 2021 that have shocked the hell out of all of us.
Talk about stress. My doctor and I were talking about it just the other day and we both agreed that most of the world will undoubtedly be struggling with PTSD in years to come because of all of this.
These things don’t really change the content of my courses. But I may need to elaborate further and add to them as time goes on. And I will.
But basically, what I am saying here is that relationships are being challenged today more than ever before. Or let’s put it this way, more of us are being challenged than ever before.
At least in my lifetime.
So, we all have a lot of challenges to deal with from this point forward. Challenges that affect all relationships in all of our lives.
The goal here is to help heal those traumas and traumatic relationships. With each other. With our loved ones. With our friends. With our enemies. With ourselves. And with our Creator.
I’m not saying that I have all the answers. But I am saying that I will die trying.
We cannot give up. Now more than ever, relationships need to heal.
Now more than ever, we need to try to love, understand and forgive each other like never before.
And now more than ever, we need to trust God and turn to God for guidance.
I will end this article with one of my favorite prayers. It is the prayer to help heal relationships of all prayers. I think.
I hope you agree.
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow your love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console.
To be understood, as to understand.
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
